i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
