I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
