so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
