I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
