Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
