I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
