We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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