Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
