Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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