dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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