This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
