sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
