You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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