The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
