You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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