I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
