Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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