It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
