So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
