Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
