At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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