She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Do vagina's smell?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
