Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
