We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
