Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
