YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
