So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
