This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
