Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
