I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize
