ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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