He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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