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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize