It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
