so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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