We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
