he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize