Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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