that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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