Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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