What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
