Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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