Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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