I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
