me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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