this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you would pick up someone in the library
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
