dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
