Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
nutella sex= disaster
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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