Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
