Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
