Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
