it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All I want is dick and wine.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
