It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
