Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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