Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I forget how to act sober
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
