Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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