When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
