Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize