that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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