I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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