I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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