His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
