hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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